Part of what makes us human is that little voice in our head that constantly talks to us. Sometimes it is helpful, but when it becomes dysfunctional, it becomes “chatter”. That is the premise of Dr. Ethan Kross’s new book “Chatter – the Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness it”.
Throughout the book, Kross discusses case studies illustrating what happens when self-talk becomes chatter. He also reveals several tools to deal with chatter. In the final chapter, he summarizes the tools into three categories:
- Tools that you can implement on your own.
- Tools that require the help of other people.
- Tools that come from the environment.
Kross does an excellent job of explaining the science of chatter as well as the science of why the tools he prescribes can work for us all. One of the tools that grabbed my attention, mainly because I have noticed myself using it without even knowing it “was a thing”, is using “distanced self-talk”. Often times, our self-talk takes on a voice in the first person. You might relate to some examples as this often happens when we are berating ourselves such as: “I am so stupid, why did I say that”? – or “I knew I wouldn’t hit that target, it is outside of my wheelhouse”. Each of us can probably think of examples where we have heard our inner voice using the first person and degrading into “chatter”.
What Kross suggests, is that we “distance” ourselves from chatter during a difficult situation by moving away from the first person by using the second person (“you”) or even the third person (referring to yourself by your own name). He relates a personal story in which he had received a threatening letter after making an appearance on a television show. He was only able to achieve peace from himself when he was able to distance from his chatter by using his own name in his self-talk. The transformation was not only profound in the impact on allowing him to calm his emotions, but also in its speed of taking affect.
Research has shown that this technique has an almost immediate physiological effect! When you berate yourself (using first person chatter), it can lead to an almost immediate constricting of the blood vessels and can even lead to triggering the amygdala (the “fight or flight” center of the brain) to activate.
This type of amygdala “hijack” is not conducive to high level athletic functioning! In contrast, using the 2nd person or 3rd person approach can create a “challenge” environment in the brain where a significantly different physiological response occurs – in fact the blood vessels can relax allowing enhanced blood flow to the muscles, organs and brain allowing significantly better sport performance to occur. Either response occurs almost immediately after having either the “challenge” related self-talk experience or the “hijack” first person “chatter” experience.
So, the next time you hear that voice starting out on a negative tirade using the first person “I”, try to derail that and give some “distancing” a try. In my case, I recall in my last round of clays saying (even out loud) things like “Mike needs to remember to stay below the target line on that next pair”, or “Mike should follow thru on that first bird” rather than “Dang it, I shot over that target again and stopped the gun! – why do I always do that?”. Give it a try, you might like the result.
Here is the link for Ethan Kross’s book. It is a good read. I highly recommend it!